Does this mean that you like bananas or not……You never really struck me as someone who likes bananas let alone being a banana person ….That’s just bananas right (noticed I said person not girl…..wouldn’t want to come across as being sexist).

So you feel that local men are not up to scratch? Shall we examine this perception of yours shall we ….along with the concept you came up with the other week…. Why is it that so many local / Asian girls attached to Mat Sallehs.

I always had the perception that Malaysians view of westerners were of uncouth immoral heathen barbarians….the sort that fathers see and lock up their daughters. I mean what have the westerners ever done for Malaysia (refer to the movie Life Of Brian – "What have the Romans ever done for us" – You will get the gist of what I mean. ) etc etc etc

Anyway back to your question- why is it that so many local / Asian girls are attached to Mat Sallehs ….. And not just poor kampong girls but intelligent successful women as well ---- Perhaps you could ask Ning!

Seriously though I guess a lot of it is down to personal circumstances, experiences and to a lesser extent culture.

My understanding is that the perception of Malaysians is that women should marry by the time they are 25…..By 30 they are already past their sell by date. This makes it difficult for a woman to find a man for marriage once they have passed this life milestone.

I think some women find themselves in this predicament because they have decided on a career and have focused on that…..Its only when their ovaries start aching that their focus turns to marriage and kids…..For a westerner there is not a significant stigma attached to being 30+ (maybe 40 but not really 30). They don’t find 30 + as too old for them particularly if they are older anyway.

It also seems that a divorcee has very little chance of getting re-married with a local man especially if they have baggage. Again this is not a significant problem for a lot of westerners (who may already have had one marriage anyway) Perhaps for some women, knowing this, is what draws them to the kulit puteh’s.

Obviously not all women are in this predicament. There are those who come from a poor background and have little in the way of education and therefore opportunity. They may therefore see a westerner as having better prospects….not necessarily chasing their money per se but the higher likelihood of security. There are always gold-diggers but you find them in every country and society so that is not to be unexpected. I do however feel that most girls are sincere. They just want a secure happy life and be normal. Nothing wrong with that.

There is another group who has been exposed to westerners, usually having studied overseas. They have grown used to the “ways” of the West and have come to love the “decadence” oooppps no what I mean is the percieved open-mindedness or freedom that westerners tend to have more of. This possibly continues when they return and start work at a big MNC where they continue to be exposed to Western ways and culture...... and get to like it. Perhaps also finding that they can communicate better with the “Ang mo’s”

I think media plays a role particularly Hollywood…… Asians are constantly exposed to the strong handsome hero who tends to be blond, blue eyed and white…. This registers with the mind from an early age. Posters of Brad Pit etc etc abound….Of course there are the local heroes (cikcak man excluded) but their exposure is perhaps not so sensationalized as Hollywood’s finest. Maybe this has a brainwashing effect on a minority. Of course I could be completely sexist about the whole thing and say it’s the perception that westerners have got bigger dicks but I doubt that is the reason.

In many ways Malaysian Culture and society is very much like how things were in the West not all that long ago. Family values were important ( They still are but just eroded by the media rather than actually really disintegrating), religion was high on the agenda and cultural ways were strong…….however over the decades as technology gives us more and more information and education , as greater income gives us more “choice” in our lives , as more toys, gadgets and hobbys put pressure on our leisure time we find that some of these values are not having the time invested in them as it once was (I would say Malaysia is heading same way).

There is also the question of why many westerners take up with Asians………..GST’s I know why, but why so many others. I have had my experiences and to be fair there is not much difference………Women are women no matter where they come from ;)

who me???

I was having a conversation with an old banana friend yesterday and he said to me that I too was a banana. Wait...hang on a minute...who is he calling a banana here? Me? Little kampung girl me??? That got me around to thinking just what makes a banana a banana.

For starters, a banana is one who is yellow on the outside and white on the inside....hmm...yellow on the outside...now, that certainly is not how I would describe myself on the outside --- hey, I'm a brownie!

Next, a banana is white on the inside... I don't think I'm white on the inside. Okay, sure, so I have some westernized values (whatever they may be!) but does that make me a banana? I mean, is there anyone out there at all who is really untouched by any westernized values??? (Okay, let's keep the Orang Asli out of this, okay?).

I guess that brings me back to Mac's question a few days ago of how much of a kampung girl am I really? Let's see... my kampung is in PJ. Afterall, one's kampung is where one grew up and where one's parents reside and for this kampung girl, it's good ole PJ.

I'm bilingual and I code switch between both languages when I speak unless of course I'm speaking to a monolingual person. My Malay is great, I don't speak it with a Mat Salleh accent (I have seen that phenomena on a few people who have been educated overseas --- don't know why it happens). In fact, I am equally capable of speaking the northern dialect as well speaking the more standardized and perscribed standard version. Okay, my writing skills in Malay is much to be desired... nothing that I am proud of. I am unable to express myself in writing in Malay as well as I do in English but that's probably due to lack of practise rather than anything else.

When I was young dad used to think that it was a great idea to take us kids back home to his kampung. I used to dread those long road trips. Back in the kampung, was certainly where I didn't belong and I knew that even as a child. I guess the fact that most of my cousins were at least two decades older than me, if not more, didn't really help as well.

Okay, I admit that I now prefer men who are not home grown over those who are but is that really my fault or theirs??? It's not like I haven't given our local boys a chance (or in this case, loads of chances) before I gave up on the local products and considered the imported stuff :P.

Hey, you know what --- I may be not a banana and neither am I a kampung girl... I am me and I'm okay with that!

Oh Dear

I was talking to friend the other evening who reminded me of a mutual friend’s son. Now I recall teaching him how to ride a scooter when he was three. It seems that not only has he finished school but also University and has been in his present job for 4 years or so. I guess that hammers home how fast time passes. I also recall my mother commenting to me as I left my teens and into twenty-hood that I was now getting “old” ha ha which was quite ironic considering my parents favourite TV show at the time was “ Life Begins at Forty” - about a couple whose kids have flown the nest and they could now get on and “enjoy” life…..To me it implied that the last two decades of marriage and kiddiwinkies was hell……Hardly good press but I suppose this was the irony of the comedy….its was supposed to be funny.
I realize that as I career towards old age all the hair on my head will start to grow out of my ears and nose. My ear lobes and nose will swell up (two of three things that continue to grow into old age) . My bladder will become uncontrollable as will my bowels. And as for the ability to set the time on a video recorder …..Well I presume that with the onset of “old timer’s disease” I probably won’t even remember what a video was – in fact even at 40 I can see the signs, god help me.

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional

lost...and never to be found

Been going around collecting copies of fellow lecturers' certs for LAN accredition. Guess what happens --- someone comes up and tells me that she has "lost" her certificates. How does one go about losing her certificates??? This is coming from someone who claims to possess TWO degrees (none of which the office has copies of, by the way)!!! Truth be told, some of us in the office have got doubts as to whether this certain person is even in possession of any sort of qualification, let alone TWO degrees! Do I hear this question of how this person got hired in the very first place??? Hey, don't ask me because I have the exact same question! Judging from how she is working (or rather NOT working), I am more inclined to say that she doesn't have any suitable qualification that would justify her existence in this place. Who let her in???

Now that she is unable to produce copies of the degrees that she claims to be in possession of, I can't even put her name down on the LAN paperwork. She cannot be declared on paper as a member of the faculty. What now??? Oh, by the way, did I mention that I work in a circus???

I've been driving in my car..

I see we are back to driving in Malaysia….my favourite subject…… I have to say in the 10 or so years I have been here I have generally managed to pick up the differences between the “styles” here and back in Old Blighty. For example :

Traffic lights: green means go (obviously) , yellow means go faster and red is just a suggestion

Indication- Left means right, right means left and both indicators activate the invisibility cloak allowing the driver to double park outside their favourite stall – AND NOBODY WILL BE ABLE TO SEE THEM.

Indication - Also lets drivers in the adjacent lane know that they should close the gap with the car in front so there is no chance of letting you into their lane.

Lane discipline – there is none…… although I think some people obviously learnt to drive on a scalextric ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scalextric ) where the car follows the white lines and straddles the lanes.

Negotiating roundabouts – the biggest vehicle wins particularly when they get in the right hand lane to turn left.

Queuing – If you drive a Mercedes or a BMW …..what queue?????

Exiting highways- to be executed by being in the far right, outside lane and then turning 90 degrees to cross two lanes at the last possible moment. Priceless

Entering highways – Only use the first two gears and never exceed 2000 revs. Make sure you hurtle across all lanes to get to the outside lane as quickly as possible……. Afterall this is the fast lane so you must be going fast if you are in this lane …… 40km/h in a kancil is fast right.

Accessing the main road from a side road (particularly in heavy traffic) – Wind down window (if you have a proton and the electric motor is rosak get your companion to lower their window) stick your arm out and wave it about, close your eyes and tear into the oncoming traffic – the other cars DO have brakes you know so let them use em!

Driving position – Push seat back as far as it will go and fully recline. Put one hand behind your head with the other dangling out of your window (With a cigarette is suggested but not mandatory)….One foot on the dashboard is optional.

Parking of the vehicle – Any where ya damn well please – yippee

If I have missed anything out do please tell.......Always willing to learn about local culture :)

just NOT my day :(

Yesterday morning, the start of a new week --- the woman in the car behind me decides to fall asleep behind the wheel and crash into my behind --- the second time that it has happened to me in the span of two months (how lucky can a girl get???). Sigh...just another one of those days, I was thinking to myself.

Later in the day, I went over to the GSO to hand in the form to request for them to write me a letter so that I can claim from EPF for my school fees. I took a number, it said that there were 9 people ahead of me. The wait was long. I waited and waited....and I w a i t e d...and I w a i t e d.... The numbers were not moving but there were more and more students coming into the office. People were getting restless (do I blame them?). Many started approaching the counter because the wait was long and their numbers were not being called. In the end, I gave up and went up to the counter as well (I only needed to hand in the form).

The clerk behind the counter was anything but friendly. If, anything at all, she was a tad on the hostile side. She gave me this "look". I guess, I really should feel sorry for her...NOT!!! She's paid to do her job but she makes it look like she's doing me a favour by taking my form in. The letter of request should be ready in two days' time... I dislike the thought of having to face this person again.

Grrrr

It must be said I isn’t too happy today.....yet again I have been the victim of another muppet motorist. This time one on a motor bike. After stopping in a jam on Jalan Loke Yew this fellow hops over the road divider , clips the wing of my car gives me a quick look and after realising I am stuck in a jam he scoots off…..

Te guy who tail ended me in Tapah recently, tried to defend himself by saying it wasn’t quite his fault, it was his brakes that weren’t working which were the cause …….. &*&%^%&*!!!

It reminds me of the young lady who totalled my car in Seputih …… She said she indicated ….never mind she hurtled herself across two lanes against traffic …fortunately her father, when he arrived, pointed out the error of her ways.

And I won’t even mention the A*** who nearly killed me while pulling out of a side road through red lights ………his defence………..”I pulled out slowly” he said …..But what he didn’t factor in was that he pulled slowly into fast moving traffic…

Having lived here for more than 10 years, driving is one of the few things that I still can’t get my head around………….they should make it legal to cull half witted drivers


Sorry ......My next entry will be considerable more pleasant