I've been driving in my car..

I see we are back to driving in Malaysia….my favourite subject…… I have to say in the 10 or so years I have been here I have generally managed to pick up the differences between the “styles” here and back in Old Blighty. For example :

Traffic lights: green means go (obviously) , yellow means go faster and red is just a suggestion

Indication- Left means right, right means left and both indicators activate the invisibility cloak allowing the driver to double park outside their favourite stall – AND NOBODY WILL BE ABLE TO SEE THEM.

Indication - Also lets drivers in the adjacent lane know that they should close the gap with the car in front so there is no chance of letting you into their lane.

Lane discipline – there is none…… although I think some people obviously learnt to drive on a scalextric ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scalextric ) where the car follows the white lines and straddles the lanes.

Negotiating roundabouts – the biggest vehicle wins particularly when they get in the right hand lane to turn left.

Queuing – If you drive a Mercedes or a BMW …..what queue?????

Exiting highways- to be executed by being in the far right, outside lane and then turning 90 degrees to cross two lanes at the last possible moment. Priceless

Entering highways – Only use the first two gears and never exceed 2000 revs. Make sure you hurtle across all lanes to get to the outside lane as quickly as possible……. Afterall this is the fast lane so you must be going fast if you are in this lane …… 40km/h in a kancil is fast right.

Accessing the main road from a side road (particularly in heavy traffic) – Wind down window (if you have a proton and the electric motor is rosak get your companion to lower their window) stick your arm out and wave it about, close your eyes and tear into the oncoming traffic – the other cars DO have brakes you know so let them use em!

Driving position – Push seat back as far as it will go and fully recline. Put one hand behind your head with the other dangling out of your window (With a cigarette is suggested but not mandatory)….One foot on the dashboard is optional.

Parking of the vehicle – Any where ya damn well please – yippee

If I have missed anything out do please tell.......Always willing to learn about local culture :)