well looks like this blog has been shot down in flames and died

wiki tiki wiki

I've been working on my class wiki website --- hey, it's kinda fun! I'm beginning to get the hang of it!

My coursemate, however, seems to be technologically challenged and she is driving me up the wall! To begin with, I had to make the wiki site suggestion (because she probably didn't even bother to try out any wiki sites --- too busy lah... like I have nothing better to do with my time!) and I set up the site and sent out the invite to her to join the website. All she has to do is create an account and jump right in... and guess what happens.... she emails me (and oh, snail mail gets to me faster than her emails) and tells me that she didn't get an invite. I checked the system and saw that the invite has been sent out to her but she has yet to accept it. Technology challenged people drive me up the wall!!! In today's day and age, one should be able to follow what I consider idiot proof instructions (and websites normally come with idiot proof instructions). Last week, when I asked her if she was technology friendly, she said that she was. I guess it is all very relative... many would think that being able turn on a computer is being technology savvy...

On the subject of emails, I asked her why she wasn't getting back to me when I emailed her and her answer was " Oh, I only check my email when I know that someone has emailed me". Okay, how would one know if anyone at all has emailed them if they don't check their email account??? Do such people get smoke signals or see lightning bolts when there is new mail in their inboxes??? Arrrggghhhh....... what is the whole point of having an email account and signing up for a class that uses technology as part of the coursework if you're a Digital Age Dinosaur and planning to remain in that mode for the rest of your life (and the next and the one after that as well)??? And oh, don't you dare think for a minute that this person is ancient because she is far from it. So tell me.... what gives??? I just don't get it!!!

power control vampire

It’s Wednesday again!!! How fast time flies! Wednesday is class day. K dropped this course that I’ve signed up for …thank God for that! I guess she dropped the course because she felt out of place --- she didn’t know enough about the subject matter to take over the class time. She's the sort of student who has a power control issue. You know, she’s the student who does all the talking in a class discussion while the rest go zzzzzzzzzz. I guess she missed the point --- it’s a class discussion and not a monologue. Sometimes, it can get to be very tiring especially when the class is at night and you really want to listen to what the lecturer has to say, exchange ideas with your coursemates on issues and go home. The last thing you want is a coursemate who is in love with her own voice and all she wants to do is talk!!! It’s a good thing that she dropped this course that I am on and it is a good thing that I decided to drop the other course which is offered right after this one (which only ends close to vampire hour --- 11 PM). I really liked that course but the idea of it being so late (and having to wake up early the next morning to get to work) and she being there made me reconsider taking that course this semester.

K works in the city centre in an oil and gas company. She says that she’s taking this course “Just to kill time”. She seems to be big on Korea --- all her illustrations seem to be drawn from Korea. She did her undergrad degree in the same university that she is now pursuing her masters in. Mind you, she attended the night classes as a matured student for three years and those classes ran from 8 to 11 PM from Mondays to Fridays. Yes, you can see that she is no stranger to vampire hour classes. In fact, who know…she many well be a vampire herself!!!

What I don't get is why would anyone want to pursue something like linguistics when one is not planning on practicing it? Why bother coming for night classes unless it’s gonna do something for your career advancement? I don’t know….she could be a professional student of some sort. The kind that are put on this planet to make life difficult for the rest of us part-time students.

Me? I’m pursuing my masters because I think I’ll make me a better educator. When I’m more knowledgeable, I’ll be able to guide my students better. Simple.

I'm sick in bed with a fever of 40 degrees

No blog till I am well again

NOPE, NOOOO, TAK NAKK!!!

I’ve been ignoring text messages and phone calls from this certain member of the male species. He texted me twice and rang me up four times yesterday --- once in the afternoon, twice at night and once in the wee early hours of the morning, waking me up from snoozy woozy land in a mad panic thinking that there was an emergency (God forbid). I didn’t reply any of his text messages or answer any of his calls. I had a hard time trying to get back to snoozy woozy land after that rude, untimely and unasked for wake up call at 1:30 AM and as a result of that, feel kind of zombie-like this morning.

He texted me again this morning. He doesn’t seem to get it that although he may be having the hots for me, the feeling is certainly NOT mutual.

He told me that he is so sure that I’m “the one” for him and that he loves me (this after having seen me only ONCE --- I fear to think what he would be like if I saw him twice --- man would probably be sleeping in front of my door!). To that remark of his, I replied that I’m so sure that he is NOT the one for me. I have since tried many ways to lose him. I started out by telling him subtlely at first, thought that I would let him down gently. You know, I’m really a nice person and I don’t go around hurting others’ feelings but that approach didn’t seem to work. So I tried the direct approach and told this joe in his face that he better wipe out any strange ideas he may be having of an “us’’ coz it just ain’t happening, not in this lifetime nor the next!!! He was very quiet and looked hurt by what I said and I walked away happily thinking that I managed to drive the point home into that thick skull of his --- mission accomplished!!! But noooo apparently, that didn’t work too because less than 24 hours later, he not only texts me, he calls my number!!! In fact, if anything at all, he kind of gained momentum after that attempt of mine of telling him directly that NOOOOOOO, it is NOT going to happen!!!

I don’t get it. How thick skinned can anyone be??? Doesn’t he have some sense of pride and self worth??? I have NEVER met one as stubborn (or could he possibly have been dropped on the head when he was young and be brain damaged?) as he. Looks like I’m going to have a hard time shaking this one off.

I now cringe when my phone rings. I am fearful of seeing his name blinking on the screen of my phone. Thank god those things come with a silence mode. Sigh… what did I do in my last lifetime to deserve this, I wonder…

Gainful employment

Some people are sticklers for rules. They have a rule for everything and everything has a rule……… This attribute tends to be even more apparent in big conglomerates / MNC’s due to their nature and size. The problem with this is it tends to stifle creativity, at least, within certain elements of the company I am working with. If there isn’t a rule or procedure to cover a particular scenario it either gets ignored or …and there is some expertise involved with this ………it gets passed to someone else to become their problem……usually someone lower down the food chain.
There are people who are what I term as careerorists or more perhaps more fittingly, career guerilla’s or career prostitutes. They play the rules with intention of doing as little work as possible, while s*itting on others with the sole purpose of climbing the ladder – not to do any work mind – just climb the ladder. In fact some spend more time and effort working out how to get out of doing some meaningful work, than they would expend actually doing it. (Fortunately this only applies to a relatively small segment of the workforce.)
The company has a very “fulfilling” training program whereby if you get the right boxes ticked, you are nudged up a grade along with a small increase in salary and a bigger coffee mug. It has been observed that some managers spend hours during office time doing or revising for these “improvement” programs but little real work is done in the meantime.
It seems that there is any number of tactics in which to avoid work in “big corporate”. One of the more popular ones is meetings but there are others such as “training”, “seminars” and “expo’s” . One of the worse is the teleconference. Or in other words “places where nothing happens and nothing gets done”. I have been monitoring some of the fellows to see what they have achieved over the last 12 months and to be frank it’s not much …other than to heat up the atmosphere further.
Here’s how meetings go. Each of the people round the table expresses their opinion on a particular subject (they are all referring to the same subject and have been for the last 12 months), however each of these opinions is completely different. Then, “The Claw” (Wiki it) — and it’s always “The Claw” — says some crap like: “Well, we’re outside the box here with a new kind of polemic situation and we can’t know what the result will be until we’ve run the flag up the flagpole and seen which way the wind’s blowing and ensure we are all singing from the same hymn sheet.”
Plainly you want to argue with this, but as you draw breath to speak you realize that what he just said didn’t make any sense. And anyway, he hasn’t finished.
“It’s mission critical that we use blue sky thinking and that we’re positively proactive, not negatively reactive, if we’re to come up with a ballpark figure that we can bring to the table.”
Again, you raise a finger to make a point. But you don’t know what that point might be.
“We must maintain a client focus so that we can incentivise the team and monetise the deliverables, and only then can we take it to the next level.”
You wince as you bite your tongue to stop yourself from saying: “I’m sorry but wtf are you on about?”
As you walk out the meeting your head is spinning and, you wonder why it was necessary to have the meeting at all. Nothing was achieved except the consumption of time and a general feeling from my colleagues that they had fulfilled their contract of employment in a positively proactive way.
In a quest to try and alleviate the boredom, a friend and I heard of a way to make meetings more interesting - at least for us. We would give each other the name of a rock band before the meeting and then we’d compete to see how many of their song titles we could lob into the conversation without anyone noticing.
That’s why, the other week, my contribution to the meeting was : “We finish on the 31 December so All is Quiet on New Years Day. I Will Follow but I Still Haven’t Found What I Am Looking For With or Without You (U2 in case you didn’t know) And do you know what? Nobody batted an eyelid.
And nor did anyone cotton on when my friend replied by saying: “We are the Champions. Don’t Stop Me Now, Under Pressure I Want to Break Free” (Queen). But I even grew bored of this as I can’t get no satisfaction…. Ha ha ha sorry!
Conference calls are another great consumer of time and a tool for the justification of existence. After all its quite often the only opportunity to have some interaction with the big cheeses at HQ and it gives a lovely warm glowing feeling that you believe they are actually aware of your being – even if they do keep getting your name wrong. Teleconferences are exactly like a normal meeting in that nothing happens and nothing gets done and everyone talks rubbish but you don’t have to sit there, remembering not to fall asleep. There are many other interesting things to do such as counting the number of floor tiles and multiplying it with the number of ceiling tiles. I can also play with my PDA and no one will know. At the end I can be content that my colleagues will think I have put a sterling effort in and somehow this alleviates my guilt when I cash my paycheck at the end of the month.

the "i did okay" frame of mind

A couple of days ago, I had the pleasure of sitting down with an MBA student over a cup of coffee. He was a foreign student who was sponsored by his company to pursue his MBA in one of the private higher learning institutions here. This is his second semester and in his first semester, he enrolled in only two modules. Now, let me tell you that as a full time student, enrolling yourself in two modules really means that you're here for a holiday. Enrollment in two courses are for people who have full time jobs and are taking the MBA as part-time students.

Anyway... I got around to asking him how he performed in his first semester. His response to that question was, " I did okay". So, me being me, I had to ask him what his definition of "okay" was. He said. "Well, you know, it was okay". I just looked at him with this look that said,"Yes....and what are "okay" grades???". He squirmed around in his chair before he said that he made Cs in BOTH courses. I don't get it... you know, I always thought that you did your first degree because you didn't know any better and were probably there to make mom and dad happy with the thought that you are getting some sort of higher education (although you had absolutely NO idea what you were doing). In contrast to that, pursuing a post graduate degree is a matter of personal choice. Mom and dad are no longer breathing down your neck and spending sleepless nights wondering if you're going to survive the four years of education and eventually graduate (a VERY big thing in the asian culture). Pursuing a post graduate degree means that this is something that you WANT to do... that you are intrinsically motivated to do it.

Okay, I'm going to tell you something about what I know about private higher learning institutions and how they all generally operate --- getting a C- in any post graduate module is the equivalent of a FAIL but they can't fail you as they want your money (what are they going to do if they have standards and students just drop out? It's all about generating income. Getting an education? Whoever said that it was anything to do with that???). So what they do is they give you a C- instead so that you will stay with them for the duration of the whole course (KA-CHING goes the till!).

Getting a C- in any post graduate course is a waste of time. It is the equivalent of telling the whole wide world out there that you are a waste of time. Why this guy seems cool about it is a absolute wonder! This semester, he informs me, he is enrolled in four modules...anyone want to guess how he's going to perform this time around???

Does this mean that you like bananas or not……You never really struck me as someone who likes bananas let alone being a banana person ….That’s just bananas right (noticed I said person not girl…..wouldn’t want to come across as being sexist).

So you feel that local men are not up to scratch? Shall we examine this perception of yours shall we ….along with the concept you came up with the other week…. Why is it that so many local / Asian girls attached to Mat Sallehs.

I always had the perception that Malaysians view of westerners were of uncouth immoral heathen barbarians….the sort that fathers see and lock up their daughters. I mean what have the westerners ever done for Malaysia (refer to the movie Life Of Brian – "What have the Romans ever done for us" – You will get the gist of what I mean. ) etc etc etc

Anyway back to your question- why is it that so many local / Asian girls are attached to Mat Sallehs ….. And not just poor kampong girls but intelligent successful women as well ---- Perhaps you could ask Ning!

Seriously though I guess a lot of it is down to personal circumstances, experiences and to a lesser extent culture.

My understanding is that the perception of Malaysians is that women should marry by the time they are 25…..By 30 they are already past their sell by date. This makes it difficult for a woman to find a man for marriage once they have passed this life milestone.

I think some women find themselves in this predicament because they have decided on a career and have focused on that…..Its only when their ovaries start aching that their focus turns to marriage and kids…..For a westerner there is not a significant stigma attached to being 30+ (maybe 40 but not really 30). They don’t find 30 + as too old for them particularly if they are older anyway.

It also seems that a divorcee has very little chance of getting re-married with a local man especially if they have baggage. Again this is not a significant problem for a lot of westerners (who may already have had one marriage anyway) Perhaps for some women, knowing this, is what draws them to the kulit puteh’s.

Obviously not all women are in this predicament. There are those who come from a poor background and have little in the way of education and therefore opportunity. They may therefore see a westerner as having better prospects….not necessarily chasing their money per se but the higher likelihood of security. There are always gold-diggers but you find them in every country and society so that is not to be unexpected. I do however feel that most girls are sincere. They just want a secure happy life and be normal. Nothing wrong with that.

There is another group who has been exposed to westerners, usually having studied overseas. They have grown used to the “ways” of the West and have come to love the “decadence” oooppps no what I mean is the percieved open-mindedness or freedom that westerners tend to have more of. This possibly continues when they return and start work at a big MNC where they continue to be exposed to Western ways and culture...... and get to like it. Perhaps also finding that they can communicate better with the “Ang mo’s”

I think media plays a role particularly Hollywood…… Asians are constantly exposed to the strong handsome hero who tends to be blond, blue eyed and white…. This registers with the mind from an early age. Posters of Brad Pit etc etc abound….Of course there are the local heroes (cikcak man excluded) but their exposure is perhaps not so sensationalized as Hollywood’s finest. Maybe this has a brainwashing effect on a minority. Of course I could be completely sexist about the whole thing and say it’s the perception that westerners have got bigger dicks but I doubt that is the reason.

In many ways Malaysian Culture and society is very much like how things were in the West not all that long ago. Family values were important ( They still are but just eroded by the media rather than actually really disintegrating), religion was high on the agenda and cultural ways were strong…….however over the decades as technology gives us more and more information and education , as greater income gives us more “choice” in our lives , as more toys, gadgets and hobbys put pressure on our leisure time we find that some of these values are not having the time invested in them as it once was (I would say Malaysia is heading same way).

There is also the question of why many westerners take up with Asians………..GST’s I know why, but why so many others. I have had my experiences and to be fair there is not much difference………Women are women no matter where they come from ;)

who me???

I was having a conversation with an old banana friend yesterday and he said to me that I too was a banana. Wait...hang on a minute...who is he calling a banana here? Me? Little kampung girl me??? That got me around to thinking just what makes a banana a banana.

For starters, a banana is one who is yellow on the outside and white on the inside....hmm...yellow on the outside...now, that certainly is not how I would describe myself on the outside --- hey, I'm a brownie!

Next, a banana is white on the inside... I don't think I'm white on the inside. Okay, sure, so I have some westernized values (whatever they may be!) but does that make me a banana? I mean, is there anyone out there at all who is really untouched by any westernized values??? (Okay, let's keep the Orang Asli out of this, okay?).

I guess that brings me back to Mac's question a few days ago of how much of a kampung girl am I really? Let's see... my kampung is in PJ. Afterall, one's kampung is where one grew up and where one's parents reside and for this kampung girl, it's good ole PJ.

I'm bilingual and I code switch between both languages when I speak unless of course I'm speaking to a monolingual person. My Malay is great, I don't speak it with a Mat Salleh accent (I have seen that phenomena on a few people who have been educated overseas --- don't know why it happens). In fact, I am equally capable of speaking the northern dialect as well speaking the more standardized and perscribed standard version. Okay, my writing skills in Malay is much to be desired... nothing that I am proud of. I am unable to express myself in writing in Malay as well as I do in English but that's probably due to lack of practise rather than anything else.

When I was young dad used to think that it was a great idea to take us kids back home to his kampung. I used to dread those long road trips. Back in the kampung, was certainly where I didn't belong and I knew that even as a child. I guess the fact that most of my cousins were at least two decades older than me, if not more, didn't really help as well.

Okay, I admit that I now prefer men who are not home grown over those who are but is that really my fault or theirs??? It's not like I haven't given our local boys a chance (or in this case, loads of chances) before I gave up on the local products and considered the imported stuff :P.

Hey, you know what --- I may be not a banana and neither am I a kampung girl... I am me and I'm okay with that!

Oh Dear

I was talking to friend the other evening who reminded me of a mutual friend’s son. Now I recall teaching him how to ride a scooter when he was three. It seems that not only has he finished school but also University and has been in his present job for 4 years or so. I guess that hammers home how fast time passes. I also recall my mother commenting to me as I left my teens and into twenty-hood that I was now getting “old” ha ha which was quite ironic considering my parents favourite TV show at the time was “ Life Begins at Forty” - about a couple whose kids have flown the nest and they could now get on and “enjoy” life…..To me it implied that the last two decades of marriage and kiddiwinkies was hell……Hardly good press but I suppose this was the irony of the comedy….its was supposed to be funny.
I realize that as I career towards old age all the hair on my head will start to grow out of my ears and nose. My ear lobes and nose will swell up (two of three things that continue to grow into old age) . My bladder will become uncontrollable as will my bowels. And as for the ability to set the time on a video recorder …..Well I presume that with the onset of “old timer’s disease” I probably won’t even remember what a video was – in fact even at 40 I can see the signs, god help me.

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional

lost...and never to be found

Been going around collecting copies of fellow lecturers' certs for LAN accredition. Guess what happens --- someone comes up and tells me that she has "lost" her certificates. How does one go about losing her certificates??? This is coming from someone who claims to possess TWO degrees (none of which the office has copies of, by the way)!!! Truth be told, some of us in the office have got doubts as to whether this certain person is even in possession of any sort of qualification, let alone TWO degrees! Do I hear this question of how this person got hired in the very first place??? Hey, don't ask me because I have the exact same question! Judging from how she is working (or rather NOT working), I am more inclined to say that she doesn't have any suitable qualification that would justify her existence in this place. Who let her in???

Now that she is unable to produce copies of the degrees that she claims to be in possession of, I can't even put her name down on the LAN paperwork. She cannot be declared on paper as a member of the faculty. What now??? Oh, by the way, did I mention that I work in a circus???

I've been driving in my car..

I see we are back to driving in Malaysia….my favourite subject…… I have to say in the 10 or so years I have been here I have generally managed to pick up the differences between the “styles” here and back in Old Blighty. For example :

Traffic lights: green means go (obviously) , yellow means go faster and red is just a suggestion

Indication- Left means right, right means left and both indicators activate the invisibility cloak allowing the driver to double park outside their favourite stall – AND NOBODY WILL BE ABLE TO SEE THEM.

Indication - Also lets drivers in the adjacent lane know that they should close the gap with the car in front so there is no chance of letting you into their lane.

Lane discipline – there is none…… although I think some people obviously learnt to drive on a scalextric ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scalextric ) where the car follows the white lines and straddles the lanes.

Negotiating roundabouts – the biggest vehicle wins particularly when they get in the right hand lane to turn left.

Queuing – If you drive a Mercedes or a BMW …..what queue?????

Exiting highways- to be executed by being in the far right, outside lane and then turning 90 degrees to cross two lanes at the last possible moment. Priceless

Entering highways – Only use the first two gears and never exceed 2000 revs. Make sure you hurtle across all lanes to get to the outside lane as quickly as possible……. Afterall this is the fast lane so you must be going fast if you are in this lane …… 40km/h in a kancil is fast right.

Accessing the main road from a side road (particularly in heavy traffic) – Wind down window (if you have a proton and the electric motor is rosak get your companion to lower their window) stick your arm out and wave it about, close your eyes and tear into the oncoming traffic – the other cars DO have brakes you know so let them use em!

Driving position – Push seat back as far as it will go and fully recline. Put one hand behind your head with the other dangling out of your window (With a cigarette is suggested but not mandatory)….One foot on the dashboard is optional.

Parking of the vehicle – Any where ya damn well please – yippee

If I have missed anything out do please tell.......Always willing to learn about local culture :)

just NOT my day :(

Yesterday morning, the start of a new week --- the woman in the car behind me decides to fall asleep behind the wheel and crash into my behind --- the second time that it has happened to me in the span of two months (how lucky can a girl get???). Sigh...just another one of those days, I was thinking to myself.

Later in the day, I went over to the GSO to hand in the form to request for them to write me a letter so that I can claim from EPF for my school fees. I took a number, it said that there were 9 people ahead of me. The wait was long. I waited and waited....and I w a i t e d...and I w a i t e d.... The numbers were not moving but there were more and more students coming into the office. People were getting restless (do I blame them?). Many started approaching the counter because the wait was long and their numbers were not being called. In the end, I gave up and went up to the counter as well (I only needed to hand in the form).

The clerk behind the counter was anything but friendly. If, anything at all, she was a tad on the hostile side. She gave me this "look". I guess, I really should feel sorry for her...NOT!!! She's paid to do her job but she makes it look like she's doing me a favour by taking my form in. The letter of request should be ready in two days' time... I dislike the thought of having to face this person again.

Grrrr

It must be said I isn’t too happy today.....yet again I have been the victim of another muppet motorist. This time one on a motor bike. After stopping in a jam on Jalan Loke Yew this fellow hops over the road divider , clips the wing of my car gives me a quick look and after realising I am stuck in a jam he scoots off…..

Te guy who tail ended me in Tapah recently, tried to defend himself by saying it wasn’t quite his fault, it was his brakes that weren’t working which were the cause …….. &*&%^%&*!!!

It reminds me of the young lady who totalled my car in Seputih …… She said she indicated ….never mind she hurtled herself across two lanes against traffic …fortunately her father, when he arrived, pointed out the error of her ways.

And I won’t even mention the A*** who nearly killed me while pulling out of a side road through red lights ………his defence………..”I pulled out slowly” he said …..But what he didn’t factor in was that he pulled slowly into fast moving traffic…

Having lived here for more than 10 years, driving is one of the few things that I still can’t get my head around………….they should make it legal to cull half witted drivers


Sorry ......My next entry will be considerable more pleasant

Memories ...sigh

Yes I recall the café meeting well..........Me trying to look inconspicuous and you furtively looking over your shoulder in the belief that you were going to be abducted imminently and planted in the jungle somewhere. I guess it didn’t reassure you when I mentioned that I kept a spade and bag of lime (helps with the decomposition of the body J) in the trunk of my car. Of course this was just play but you were rather hoping your mummy would come and rescue you all the same…… I guess its possible to meet lots of peculiar characters in cafés – not just gas stations.

So how much of a kampong girl are you? What is it that they say “You can take the kampong girl out of the kampong but …………? True or not?
I was just talking to a friend of mine…… It seems that his wife’s daughter (from a previous liaison) is 7 months pregnant….. I guess that makes her a grandmother and by association him a step grandfather …… or as he will be known from now on …..Gramps. Unfortunately all this does for me is to highlight that my contemporaries are getting old and vis-à-vis so am I L. Did I really say I was gonna live forever…….probably

Psychopaths are in!!!

My partner in crime seems a little bit shy about publishing on the web... so...here I am again... It's interesting how different men's and women's views are of stalkers. My male friends to whom I related last week's gas station incident to thought that I was waaayyy too polite and should have told the guy to p*** off. One even asked for the stalker's number so that he can run a background check on the guy (is this legal, by the way???). Anyway, what can a number tell you about the guy who owns the number??? The women to whom I related the exact same incident to actually thought it was romantic (I kid you not!). So, it seems like psychopaths are the in thing with women. In fact some of them thought that he sounds like a genuine person. Yup, the stalker got a thumbs up from the women --- go figure!!!

da first blog entry!!!

Okay, this is really a trial and error thingy. Sounds kinda interesting, don't you think... a guy and girl blog... and to add to that, a mat salleh and a kampung girl blog! So how did the two get together, you ask? Good question... let's just say that the two met one nite in a coffee joint in Bangsar...that's my take on the cafe bit in the title.